WINTER .SO INCONVENIENT!

            I’ve whined and sniveled enough in this column about my detestation of the winter months here in good old Sas-katch-ee-wan. Then again, you don’t live on the Canadian Prairies for the number of years, (58), that I have and not find a way to cope or even kind of enjoy the winter conditions…given the proper activity, of course, and the proper clothing, too.

            I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s the total inconvenience of winter that I really can’t stand; not the actual weather, per se. Cold temperatures or stormy conditions can be somewhat enjoyable, too, if you’re in a cozy house with a warm fire, a hot beverage and a good hockey game or two to watch. However, that said, freezing one’s digits off while clamping the booster cables to the battery posts is a different story altogether.

            Take the difference between July and January. On a typically July Saturday morning you get up and throw on a tee shirt, shorts and some flip-flops, hop on the bike or stroll on down to the post office for the mail and come back and sit on the patio reading the weekly paper while sipping on your coffee. Easy peasy.

On a typical January Saturday you get up and throw one, three or six layers of clothing on, put the touque on over your earmuffs, pull on the snow boots and mitts over your gloves, put up the parka hood and start to shovel your way to the car, all the while hoping you remembered to plug in the block heater the night before and pray that the stupid thing will even start, and, if it does, then you brush off the snow and scrape off the ice and shovel a path out of the driveway and hope that the snow removal crews have been out so you can get down the street crossing your fingers that you won’t slide through the intersection and hit something, or someone, and then when you get to the post office and get out of the car you’re hoping that you don’t slip and fall on the ice and break a hip or crack your noggin or some damn thing…see what I mean? By the time you get back home from getting the paper you’re too exhausted to read it, never mind pouring a coffee! Sheesh!

Then again, as stated earlier, given the right winter conditions and the proper cold weather clothing you can enjoy some winter activities like I just did over the past weekend. The weather was unseasonably mild for this time of year with less than the usual gale-force wind and the sun was shining so I threw on the snow shoes and tromped around the golf course for a little while.

The gale-force winds that we had been experiencing recently had sculpted the snow into odd looking drifts adding a rather surreal, otherworldly look to the landscape. The drifts had the look of whitecap waves on a lake that had been instantly frozen. The only sounds out there were the crunching of the snow shoes and the huffing of my breath. There’s nothing like a close touch with nature to help you feel alive.

Then, the next day Deb and I took our five-year-old grandson and three-year-old granddaughter out to the toboggan hill in their hometown of Wolseley and slid down the hill a number of times on the super-sliders. All of us. What a blast! Treyton and I even did a little skating on the outdoor rink that they have there, too. It’s at those particular moments when winter is most appreciated. Still inconvenient…but appreciated.

“Winter is not a season, it’s an occupation.”-Sinclair Lewis. (1885-1951).

2015 PREDICTIONS

          Well, we’re about a week, or so, past Elvis’s birthday so it’s got to be the middle of January already. That’s great, isn’t it? That half of the nastiest winter month has passed--not that you missed Elvis’s birthday…or maybe you didn’t…oh, never mind…

Now, where was I? I don’t mean to wish my life away but knowing that we’re that much closer to warmer weather will put a smile on my face and raise my tolerance level for these frigid temperatures a bit.

As 2014 fades in our memories it’s time to pull out the old crystal ball or the pig spleen or the bowl of water, (ala Nostradamus), or a future predicting instrument of your choice, and predict, some say guess, at what may transpire in 2015.

We know that there will be all of the usual predictions of continued global strife, a pandemic or two, global economic uncertainty, (like there’s ever been certainty!), a political scandal, or two, or three, or four…some natural disasters and, of course, the odd good news story will emerge as well.

Saying that there will be unrest in the Middle East or that Putin will continue to flex his muscles or North Korea will alienate itself further from the rest of humanity is pretty much a given so there’s no point in wasting some crystal ball magic on that kind of stuff.

Predicting who will win the Stanley Cup and be right doing it…now there’s some top-notch prognosticating. I’d do that for you, you know, but I think we all know who’s going to win the Cup this year. Yup, that’s right.

What I will do for you is tell you who WON’T win the Cup this year, and it breaks my heart to say it, but a guy’s got to face facts, and…here it is…you heard it here first…the Toronto Maple Leafs will not be carrying the Stanley Cup around after the last NHL playoff game is played in June or July or something. There!...I’ve said it. 48 years and counting.

I’m sorry, you’re right, that’s an easy one, too. More predictable than Israeli/Palestine relations continuing to be strained.

Back to the Leafs. You know that that wasn’t really a prediction anyway, it was just my sad attempt at reverse jinxation. I’m crossing my fingers that I am completely wrong on that one.

I’m hoping that the Doomsayers are wrong also. Their last prediction was that the End of the World was going to happen on December 21^st, 2012 and when it didn’t occur they said that it was merely postponed. Yes, postponed. Apparently, the Mayans miscalculated something in the calendar and Doomsday’s been postponed. It’s supposed to happen on September 3^rd, 2015 now. Something to do with back-to-back years with three Blood Full Moons in a row, I think…I don’t know, I stopped reading about it, I’m tired of stressing out about nothing.

There’s another sure-fire, dead-on prediction: Stress will remain stressful and we will all continue to get stressed that we are under such stress.

Then again, the sun will shine and spring will arrive and flowers will blossom and it will again be warm and then it might even get hot and another year will unfold with events that we have seen way too often before and other events will unfold that we have never, ever seen. Time will tell.

Oh, yeah, it’s the Montreal Canadiens…wink, wink.

“The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time,”-Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865).

REALLY? WHAT'RE YOU THINKING??

 Friday January 2nd was a cold and blustery day and the warnings of “Heavy Snowfall” were coming to fruition as I headed home from work at Seed Hawk, which is located on #9 Highway a few kilometers north of Langbank. It was around two o’clock in the afternoon and the driving conditions were deteriorating quickly as snow had really started coming down and the wind began to pick up, too. The snowfall made the visibility bad enough but vehicles passing from the opposite direction or following behind another vehicle created near whiteout conditions.

The Highway Hotline lingo “drive with caution” was never more applicable. Mind you, to me, every time you turn your vehicle on and drive it you should be “driving with caution”, but I digress.

Cautiously, I turned on to Highway 48 and headed west toward Kennedy and Kipling. I came up behind another half ton truck and settled in behind it as it was moving cautiously as well. Because of the swirling snow I couldn’t see if any other traffic was coming towards us so I settled in for a slower drive home but I was only going to Kipling so an extra four or five minutes wasn’t going to kill me but impatiently pulling out to pass the slower vehicle and running in to oncoming traffic probably would.

As we approached a curve I could see good enough to know that there were a few vehicles ahead of the truck in front of me, too, but there was nothing in my rear view mirror at that time. Again, there didn’t seem to be any reason to take a risk on passing so I just bided my time and hung in behind the half ton in front of me.

We travelled like that for most of the drive between Kennedy and Kipling and then as we passed Bender I could see lights in my rear view mirror. I assumed, which is always dangerous thinking, that the driver approaching my rear would fall into line like everyone else and we’d “convoy” it into Kipling.

I noticed the vehicle behind me was closing in fast and it got so close that I could plainly see its distinctive Mercedes Benz hood ornament and it was also close enough that I couldn’t even see the grill on the front of the cube van. I kept my foot on the accelerator but lightly tapped the brake enough for the brake lights to flash on hoping my signal would tell the driver to back off. Either the driver didn’t know what my signal meant or they didn’t care because they sure didn’t back off at all.

Keep in mind that all of this was happening while the visibility was horrible. I couldn’t even see the taillights of the vehicle directly in front of me and we were only a couple of kliks away from Kipling by this time. The goof behind me kept on my rear end right into town. Even then, as we came in to Kipling and slowed to the 50km/hr speed limit, you couldn’t see clear enough to know if there was any traffic approaching from the other direction or how far ahead the vehicle in front of you was.

Unbelievably, the moron passed me right in front of Bumper to Bumper! I saw lights coming towards us from the east-bound lane and slammed on my brakes so the idiot could pull in before a head on collision occurred. Sheesh! Then the fool pulled out as soon as the oncoming car went by and passed the next vehicle in front of him a block later! IN TOWN! With ZERO visibility! What the deuce?  Or words to that effect crossed my mind.

I don't know if the guy had a death wish or not and I didn't care because I don’t and I’m  not done living quite yet, thank you very much, and I didn't appreciate the fact that he was risking everyone else's life around him in the process of his dangerous, selfish driving. If you're going to drive like that take it to the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah or the middle of Bender Lake or something where you're only endangering your own life, for crying out loud!

Oh, by the way, I timed out how long it takes to drive all the way through Kipling at 50kms per hour from the speed limit sign on the east end of town to the western outskirts and it's two minutes and four seconds.  2:04:00! That's all! Worth risking lives over? I think not.

The guy was driving a corporate vehicle, with a passenger no less, so, needless to say, the corporation is going to get a copy of this diatribe complete with a few more details.

My apologies, Dear Reader, for starting off the New Year with a cranky, full-moon, claws out rant but the mindless fool's stupidity really rankled me. If you hadn't noticed. Thanks for listening, though.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”-Albert Einstein (1879-1955).

THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR COMES TO A CLOSE.

            "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is coming to a close quicker than wanted for some and not soon enough for others. It flew by far too quickly for me. But it always does.

            The belly's a little bigger and the wallet's a little lighter and the melancholy’s starting to creep in a bit but the memories that were made were oh so worth it.

            To quote a famous Elvis Presley Christmas song: “For if everyday could be just like Christmas, What a wonderful world this would be.” Maybe yes, maybe no. If “everyday could be just like Christmas” how would it be so special then? To me it’s kind of like living full-time in a vacation home...where do you vacation? Hmmmmmm? Just saying.

 I do understand the sentiment though; about everyday being just like Christmas, it’s the feeling of peace and harmony and glad tidings to all, which I do completely agree with, but there is also an undeniable warmth that is felt, by most people, I would hope, during this season of the year, that makes it especially special and unique and that kind of feeling would be hard to reproduce on a daily basis.

            There’s another quote by American writer, publisher, philosopher, Elbert Hubbard, (no relation; at least as far as I know), who famously said, “Next to the circus, there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit!”, suggesting, also, that making “every day just like Christmas” would be a daunting task indeed. Again... difficult to sustain, don’t you think?

            So, we move on and life gets back to “normal” and we return to our regular routines, but, hopefully we will carry a wee bit of the spirit of the season around with us. For a while at least.

            There can be a bit of a letdown as the aforementioned after-Christmas melancholy kicks in so that’s why entering the New Year is a bit of a reset and allows one to get one’s bearings. Setting goals and making resolutions for the upcoming year can also lift one’s spirit and give you something to look forward to.

            Do you think that it’s coincidental that there is a direct correlation between the overindulgence of the Happy Holidays to the top three New Year’s resolutions? They are in order: 1.) lose weight, exercise more and improve one’s physical well being; 2.) improve finances...get out of debt, save money; 3.) improve mental well-being...think positive, laugh more often, enjoy life. Again...hmmmm.

            For me personally, I think 2014 was a pretty good year. I will, of course, promise to do the above things, as well, and maybe a few others, too, because everybody could use some self improvement, don’t you think, and there is never a better time for that than the start of a new year. A new beginning, as it were.

            Of course I’ll have to give myself a day or two to finish up the holiday food and beverage leftovers and wallow in the melancholy before I tackle that procrastination resolution....

            I hope you had a wonderful holiday season, whether it was too short or too long, and I wish everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous 2015.

Happy New Year!!

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better man.”- Benjamin Franklin. (1706-1790).

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

          "The true meaning of Christmas" is a phrase that has been used since the middle of the 19th century. It's often given vaguely religious overtones suggesting that the "true meaning of Christmas" is a celebration of the Nativity of Christ but, in pop culture, usage of overt religious references are mostly avoided and the "true meaning" is taken to be a sort of introspective and benevolent attitude as opposed to the commercialization of Christmas.

            The tradition of modern gift exchanging was popularized after the publication of the poem "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" in 1822 by American Clement C. Moore and is considered to be largely responsible for some of the conceptions of Santa Claus from the mid-nineteenth century to today. Prior to the poem, Christian ideas about St. Nicholas and other  Christmastide visitors varied considerably.

            It wasn't long after the poem's publication that people started to question the "true meaning of Christmas" as in Charles Dicken's classic tale," A Christmas Carol" (1843) and Harriet Beecher Stowe's story "Christmas; or, the Good Fairy".

            The topic hit its stride through film and television with shows like "A Charlie Brown Christmas", which first aired in 1965 and the 1966 animated TV special "How the Grinch Stole Christmas".  The phrase and the associated morale became used as the theme in numerous Christmas films since the 1960s.

            This Christmas season we've sat down and watched a number of these "True Meaning” classics and enjoyed them all over again. "It's A Wonderful Life", "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" (the Jim Carrey film version, of course), "Scrooged" with Bill Murray and many more. It also helps to have grandchildren to share these stories with while we revisit the shows that we have been watching for years.

            We even got to watch a live version played out for us by the elementary school children of Dr. Isman Elementary School in Wolseley. Our five-year-old grandson, Treyton, is in the kindergarten class and he, his classmates and the entire K-to-grade-6 student body performed songs and acted out a musical skit with the "True Meaning" theme. It was great! The performance ended with the play's Santa Claus character stating that gift giving isn't always Commercialism and can be very rewarding in itself and only lusting after gifts for one's self is not in keeping with the "True Meaning" of Christmas.

            Our family is excited to share another Christmas season together and celebrate the birth of Christ with all of our traditions in place whether it be the gift opening on Christmas morning or the turkey dinner or the games or the odd eggnog or two but we won't be debating the "True Meaning" of Christmas around our house as we will be living it.

            From our family to yours have a very, very Merry Christmas!!

"to give up one's very self — to think only of others — how to bring the greatest happiness to others — that is the true meaning of Christmas"  The American magazine, vol. 28 (1889):

LOVE THAT CHRISTMAS MUSIC!

            I'm not sure if it was because of the Baby Boomer radio/television era that I grew up in or Dad, Mom and their children's involvement in the United Church or just the way things generally were back in the day while I was growing up but around this time of year we listened to Christmas music. A lot of Christmas music. I loved it. Still do. It wells up a magical time of  the year for me.

            Apparently, not everybody feels this way as I have heard, more than once, that some folks would just prefer a few songs on Christmas day or none at all. Maybe if they didn't start playing Christmas music on November 1st we wouldn't be sick of it by the 1st of December. Just a thought.

            I'm a very nostalgic person anyway so I cannot understand how people can say that they just don't like Christmas music. Do they not like any of it? Or just some of it? Were they not exposed to it while they were growing up or were they overexposed perhaps? Maybe they just don't like the Irish Rovers' "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer"? I've got mixed feelings on that one, too, but how can you not like "Silent Night"? Or "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas."? Depending on the rendition, of course.

            Music was an early feature of the Christmas season and its celebrations. The earliest chants, litanies and hymns were Latin works intended for use during church liturgy, rather than popular songs. The 13th century saw the rise of the "carol" written in the vernacular.

            In the Middle Ages, the English combined circle dances with singing and called them carols. Later, the word carol came to mean a song in which a religious topic is treated in a style that is familiar or festive.

            Many of these carols hearken from centuries ago, the oldest (Wexford Carol) originating in the 12th century. The newest came together in the mid-to-late-19th century. Many began in non-English speaking countries, often with non-Christmas themes and were later converted into English carols with English lyrics added. Christmas carols in English first appeared in 1426 and music itself soon became one of the greatest tributes to Christmas.

            Many of the traditional Christmas carols such as "Away in a Manger", "O Come All Ye Faithful", "Silent Night", "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" and "O Holy Night", to name just a few, were written and popularized in the 19th Century. Secular tunes such as "Jingle Bells", "Jolly Old Saint Nicholas" and "Up on the House Top" were also popularized in the 19th Century.

            More recently popular Christmas songs, often Christmas songs introduced in theater, television, film, or other entertainment media, tend to be specifically about Christmas or have a wintertime theme. They are typically not overtly religious. The most popular set of these titles—heard over airwaves, on the Internet, in shopping centres, elevators and even on the street during the Christmas season—have been composed and performed from the 1930s onward. Name a pop star from Frank Sinatra in the 40's to Bono in the 2000's and they've recorded a Christmas song. Some to great success...some...not so much.

            According to a recent survey there are a lot more people who like to listen to Christmas music than those who don't so whether you are a big, big fan, like me, or an old pooh-poohing bah-humbugger, music and Christmas will indelibly be linked.

"One thing I love about Christmas music is that it has a tradition of warmth."- Zooey Deschanel (1980-).

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS?

            I’m pretty sure that my brother Gord and I were in grade 10 and 11 or 11 and 12, somewhere in there, when we were first assigned the Christmas lights duty on the United Church Manse house in Kipling back in the 70’s when our family was living there. The task was kind of sprung on us one day when we got home from our regular post-schoolday hang out at the old Hub Cafe.

            Dad usually saved these kinds of tasks for himself. Sure, he'd allow us to cut the grass, shovel the snow off of the sidewalks and driveway and distribute the cow caca a couple of times a year on the garden but the finicky stuff he liked to do himself 'cause he was a little anal about it, you know? He could be awful particular about certain things. Just like the car washing...he'd "allow" you to do it but if it didn't cut the mustard...his mustard, that is, you'd be heading right back to the carwash.

            My guess is that it got pretty darn cold pretty early that year and he didn't want to go up on the roof and mess with the lights himself or he was just giving us one of his "character building" lessons like the times when he made us help with the chicken butchering or go with him when he was helping someone castrating calves, or some damn thing...you know, the kind of tasks that would make us real men...blah, blah, blah.

            Anyway, I was none too excited about climbing up on the roof and attaching the Christmas lights to the eaves. I sniveled and I whined and I stomped around while Gordie just went about the task of untangling the lights and cords while telling me, "You know, if you'd stop complaining and get at it we'd be done before you know it. Bitching about it won't make it go away." So then I started complaining about him complaining about my complaining and I huffed and I puffed and I...climbed the ladder. I always hated it when he was right. And he usually was.     We froze our hands and our feet and our faces and we had to redo a few spots but we managed to fit in a bit of fun, too, as we usually did and before you know it we had the lights hung up and a hot chocolate in our hands. Yup, lights were hung and character was built.

            It's funny, Dad pointed out, that you don't say a whole lot about your frozen fingers and your frozen toes and your frozen face after an afternoon of road hockey or tobogganing or shinny at the rink, do you now? Because it's "volunteer" freezing that's why! It's different! It even feels different!

            The next year we came home around the same time from the same place and there was a whack of lights lying on the patio again and a ladder leaning on the eaves. Just like the forks sticking out of the manure pile on the garden in the fall we knew what had to be done and who was going to do it without having to be told. Last year's light hanging had been a learning experience and a character builder but the second time around was just plain torture.

            Fast forward forty odd years later and I'm stomping around our house now and whining about getting up on the ladder and hanging the stupid lights and I'm going, "Why can't we be green this year? You know, save the planet and everything and not spin the power meter off of the wall and go old school and burn a candle or two in the window or something because it's pretty damn cold out there today and I'm going to freeze my fingers and my toes and my face and I think I'm catching a cold already and what if I fall off the ladder...I know, I know...if we just stick to task we'd be done before you know it and we'll have a cup of hot chocolate in our hands...blah, blah, blah."

"My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it!" Caitlin Moran (1975-).