Tribute to Mother's Day

May 9, 2011

OMG! What was I thinking, or not thinking, as it were? Blame it on The Blackout, blame it on the pain, blame it on the medications or, maybe blame it on a bit of all of the above, but whatever the reason, there can be no excuse for missing Mother’s Day!
That’s the problem with writing a weekly newspaper column, if you don’t keep a keen eye on the calendar you can miss some very important events and one should never, ever forget Mother’s Day!
There are many important days throughout the year but, to me, the most important day would be Mother’s Day. Without your mother then you just wouldn’t be, would you? So, although it’s a week late, I am making this my Mother’s Day tribute column. Here are some quotes regarding Mothers. Enjoy.
“When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old, came into the room while I was dressing and said, 'Mommy, you are looking fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your butt?'”
“Youth fades, love droops, leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all.” - Oliver Wendell Holmes
“A mother understands what a child does not say.” - Jewish proverb.
“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”- Lin Yutang (Chinese writer).
“A man loves his sweetheart the most; his wife the best, but his mother the longest.”-Irish Proverb.
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." - Phyllis Diller.
Children say the darndest things and here are some questions and answers about their Moms:
Q.) Why did God make mothers? A.)She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
Q.) How did God make mothers? A.) Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
Q.) What ingredients are mothers made of? A.) God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
Q.) Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom? A.) God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
Q.) What kind of little girl was your Mom? A.) 1-I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 2-They say she used to be nice.
Q.) What does your Mom do in her spare time? A.) 1-To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 2-Mothers don't do spare time.
Q.) If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be? A.) I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
Q.) What's the difference between moms and dads? A.) Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

"My mother had a great deal of trouble raising me, but I think she enjoyed it." - Mark Twain