October 19th, 2007
Here is something that everyone can do,
The task is simple, the qualifications are few.
There are many subjects, of which you can choose;
There's fashion and films, you can even do booze.
Just take your subject and pick it apart.
Now your job as a critic has got a good start.
Politics, books, TV and news,
Teachers, mayors and especially Tom Cruise.
When Britney and Paris are acting all sleazy
Then a critic's job becomes way too easy.
From the critic's position, it's not hard to judge,
Particularly when they are holding a grudge.
Watching sports in my favorite chair,
My coaching mistakes are always rare.
I'm batting 1000, I can't miss a shot,
Every swing of my club hits the sweet spot.
I can never lose, while I'm sitting here,
I don't even sweat or wear any gear.
We are blessed to live in a country so free,
But not even Canada escapes scrutiny.
Our roads, our weather and our wages, too;
Immigration and healthcare we all like to boo.
Like armchair quarterbacks our decisions are right.
But the greatest calls are usually hindsight.
Critics can ruin a politician's life,
For his choices in clothing, or even his wife.
Policies? Platforms? We don't care.
"Look at that hat! And who cuts his hair?"
I'd laugh out loud, if it wasn't so sad,
That nobody cares if they're good or bad.
Thanks for your patience, while reading my rhyming,
It just felt like, you know, the right kind of timing.
Now, go ahead, and critique if you must,
Into your hands, Dear Reader, I trust.
Pick it apart, tear it to shreds.
It's too late anyhow, it's already read!
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."-Franklin P. Jones.