February 1st, 2008
Life's weird, eh? Just after I write a column about luck, I am struck down with a terrible viral infection. Luck probably had very little to do with me getting sick, being that it's cold and flu season and all. It was just a matter of probability. The probability of catching something was also increased by the fact that I ignored Nurse Betty's recommendation for a flu shot. Again! Too smart, too late!
I guess the luck part comes from the timing of the sickness. Is there ever a good time to be sick? Not likely. I am sure it wouldn't matter when we got sick, it would seem like it's at the most inconvenient time. I don't know if I would call it lucky, but my week-long bedridden illness just happened to co-incide with the coldest week of the winter. Not a bad time to be in a warm bed for a week. It's a stretch, but sometimes you gotta look for the silver lining!
Either the flu and cold strains are getting worse or my immune system, or lack thereof, is just not what it used to be! I don't know about you, but I just can't seem to get a good old fashioned cold anymore. You know, you get the sniffles, a bit of an itchy throat and a few "aahh choos" later you're back to normal.
Well, not any more! Not me, anyway. It starts out that way, then I turn into some kinda mutant mucus manufacturing machine! Yes, I know! I'm a sicko! In more ways than one! Anyway, then the fever hits and you're thinking, 38.8C isn't so bad, because you're still not converting it to something we older adults can relate to. A hundred and what?! No wonder I'm hallucinating!
Between the fever and the medication, all kinds of weird thoughts go through one's mind. Like, why can't we just put a tap on our sinuses and drain it out, like a maple tree, or something! Or how about a fine wire with the tiniest bristles on the end so we can just scratch that spot, without detonating the gag reflex, on our throat instead of dry-coughing to the point of passing out!? But, nooo, that would be too easy!
Then, while you're in the drugstore, waiting for your prescriptions, you have to listen to everyone's personal theory on cold and flu prevention. Yes, I know, take lots of Vitamin C, echinacea or Zinc, eat lots of Grandma's homemade chicken soup, move to the Antarctic or somewhere that the flu virus or any other living thing can't exist. Well, thanks for the advice but if I would have done that, I wouldn't be standing in line, now, would I?!
Apparently, you can also list irritability as one of the symptoms of cold and flu season. Well, excuse me if It's hard to keep a sunny disposition when you're oxygen-deprived from your stuffed sinuses and your brain cells are nearing the boiling point! I guess the one saving grace to getting the flu, is that you never really know how healthy you are, 'til you get really sick.
"It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like."-Jackie Mason (1934-)