Sunday, February 12, 2012


So here I was getting all settled in to start on a new column when I was interrupted and then I got distracted further and then I forgot what I was supposed to be doing and then I picked up The Citizen from last week and started reading it and then I glanced at my column from a week ago and noticed that something got lost in the translation somewhere between my computer and The Citizen’s pages. As I am a bit of a perfectionist it really bugged me to no end that what I had perceived as interesting reading fodder looked more like gobbledygook when some numbers didn’t print in the paper the way I had written them.
You see, during last week’s explanation regarding the significance of the number 100 I was unaware of how to type a cubed number so I clipped and pasted them from another source and when it was transferred from my Word document to the pages of the paper the numbers didn’t look cubed at all anyway. What should have read 1-cubed + 2-cubed + 3-cubed + 4-cubed = 100 turned out to look like 100=13+23 +33+43 which doesn’t make any sense at all! Further, the next equation was supposed to read 2-to-the-sixth power + 6 squared but ended up looking like 26+62=100, which, again, just didn’t make any sense at all. Does that help clear things up now? I hope so. This explanation probably helped me more than it helped you but I’m sure glad that we got that all straightened out, eh?
Speaking of technology snafu’s, the thing that interrupted my morning writing flow was that I was trying to download a cute little video of our granddaughter Ava from my Blackberry phone onto our computer. Simple task, no?...No. For whatever reason, quite possibly “operator error”, but I’m not taking ALL of the blame, the stupid thing wouldn’t let me download the video. Arrrrghhh!! An hour and a half later and somehow, some way, I got it to work. Or it worked by itself or whatever happened the video ended up where I had intended. But an hour and a half out of my Saturday?! C’mon. Anyway, if I could have found those Crackberry billionaire owners they would have gotten such a knocklevesh upside the cranium they wouldn’t have known what hit them! It’s probably not really their fault but you gotta blame somebody, right?
So, it turned out that “Technology Hates You Day” continued. After finally getting Ava’s video downloaded I started in on the writing again but for some reason our desktop computer was running slower than Dial-up internet on Valium so I moved to the laptop computer but my sausage fingers were hitting about four keys at a time and that was driving me nuts so I figured I’d better take a break from this frustration and get some chores done.
I pulled out the brand new vacuum cleaner and I was going to suck up some of that popcorn that missed my mouth the night before and do you think this expensive piece of technology would pick anything up? Yikes! If I have to bend down to pick up the little pieces of popcorn off of the floor doesn’t that pretty much eliminate the machine’s use? Huh? What the deuce!? How much did we pay for this vacuum cleaner that sucks but doesn’t suck?? Whatever it was, it was too much. Some other manufacturer could use a knocklevesh, too, it appears.
By this time there was only one thing left to do and I did it. I went for a nap. It was either that or borrow some valium from my computer so I opted for the nap. Good choice.
Maybe the common denominator is me. Could that be it?...Nah. I don’t think so. It’s got to be them. At the very least it sure gave me something to write about when I finally got around to doing it.
“Men have become the tools of their tools.”-Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862).

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