Tuesday, May 22, 2012


I was recently reading that, according to a CBC article, Vancouver city officials had ruled that bagpipes were being included in a group of instruments that were banned from being played by street performers. Apparently the City’s rule states: "Instruments not permitted for street performance: percussive instruments and bagpipes." The CBC article further states that “Tambourines, bongos and drums also fall into that category, which would imply the hippie-filled west coast city will somehow try to prevent drum circles, too. Officials in the city's engineering department said noise concerns were the reason for those particular instruments being banned.”

Bagpiping buskers were miffed by the City’s ruling and had kilt-wearing Vancouver Mayor, Gregor Robertson, in their corner to help in overturning the ruling within days of the ban being made public.

That’s all fine and good and I’ll leave it up to you to decide if you would rather have a bagpiper, car horns or a city bus invading your personal audio range while strolling downtown Vancouver and, personally, being a piper lover, (which is kind of similar to your feelings on the New York Yankees…either you love ‘em or you hate ‘em…and I love ‘em), I’d go with the pipes but, in the end, it was a “difference between” joke in the article that caught my eye. The old joke asks the Question: “What’s the difference between an onion and a bagpipe?” The Answer: “Nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe”. Ba-dum-dum-tish. Regardless of your bagpipe feelings, the joke’s funny isn’t it?

So in that vain I thought I’d look up some “difference between” jokes and share them with you. Keep in mind that I didn’t write these things so don’t “shoot the messenger” because I am going for “comedic effect” not “politically correct” here. You will understand my disclaimers when you read the first one as it’s my wife’s least favourite joke.

Q: What’s the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A: About 45lbs.

Q: What’s the difference between a man and a computer? A: You only have to tell the computer once.

Q: What’s the difference between a dog and a violinist? A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Q: What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? A: One’s a bottom-dwelling scum sucker and the other is just a fish.

Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? Answer A: After a year the dog is still excited to see you. Answer B: A dog only takes a couple of months to train.

Q: What’s the difference between a tornado and a redneck divorce? A: Nothing-either way someone’s losing the trailer.

Q: What’s the difference between you and your boss? Answer A: When you take a long time, you’re slow. When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough. Answer B: When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. Answer C: When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake he’s only human.

“I got a feeling about political correctness. I hate it. It causes us to lie silently instead of saying what we think.”-Hal Holbrook (1925- ).

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