Monday, May 27, 2013


Have you ever noticed how you can't sleep when you want or need to but you can sure sleep when you're not supposed to? You know how it is, lying there staring at the ceiling at four in the morning but you're snoring and drooling away in the training session at work or school? No? Never happened to you? I don't believe it.

            Very recently I happened to endure one of those restless nights but it wasn't due to work pressures or family or personal health issues or everyday life stresses, because those happen...well...every day, this was a very unique, hopefully once-in-a-lifetime, gut wrenching, slap in the face, kick to the groin, make me physically sick, event...yes, I'm speaking of the "Colossal Collapse" of my Toronto Maple Leafs in the seventh and final game of their first round NHL playoff  series versus the Boston Bruins. Yikes! These guys didn't just break our Maple Leaf loving hearts they ripped them out of our chests, threw them on the ground and stomped on 'em!! The only consolation from the whole ordeal is that I am only a fan. Mind you, I'm a bona fide,  true-blue, died in the wool life-longer, but I cannot imagine how the players, coaches and team officials feel.

            Without boring you with the nasty details I will say that the debacle was mind-bogglingly fast, painful and sad. It was death in the family sad. I'm thinking this loss could test the abilities of many a mental health service centre across the country, but their loss is not what I had intended to talk about this week at all, but thanks for listening anyway, I was going to talk about how one's mind wonders while in a semi-sleepless state.

            While I was trying to exorcise the Maple Leaf demons from my brain I turned my thoughts to other things like: why are we searching for intelligent life on other planets when it's so very rare here on Earth? Hmm? If we're so smart why is there an endless supply of material for "America's Funniest Home Videos"? Or as I like to call it..."How Stupid Can You Be?"

            Another inclement weather why do they advise us to "drive with caution"? As opposed to what? Reckless abandon? Shouldn't "driving with caution" be kind of like, oh, you know, standard operating procedure?

            And while we're on the subject of "driving with caution" what's with the video billboards? One advertising company states that they have "19 Strategic High-Traffic” markets from Victoria BC to St. John's Newfoundland. Isn't that special. So, I'm guessing that while we are driving "without caution" we can be watching TV? In high traffic areas? Does this sound like a good plan to you? Who allowed this to happen?... Lobbyists for the Canadian Auto Body Owners Association or something?

            You know what else is colossally stupid? Keeping the Canadian Senate. Enough is enough already. How much longer can the Canadian taxpayer be expected to support this patronage appointed thievery? Huh? How many Canadian Senate Scandals does it take to abolish a useless government institution? It's a rhetorical question, by the way, not the opening line of a joke...but then again... And besides, you can't possibly know the answer to that question because they're not done yet. Scandalizing, that is.

            Eventually, I'll get my lost sleep back. Probably in a meeting or something but I'll get it back. I've finally stopped thinking about THE LOSS all of the time now but there are always going to be things that will keep you awake at night and make you go...hmmmmm?

            "There are two distinct classes of what are called thoughts: those that we produce in ourselves by reflection and the act of thinking and those that bolt into the mind of their own accord."- Thomas Paine- (1737-1809).

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