Sunday, December 9, 2012

MOODY OR WHAT?

Ol’ Mother Nature has been her usual moody self lately, hasn’t she? You’d think she was menopausal, or seven months pregnant, or something. Or maybe she’s a cranky old man? Like someone going through Man-o-pause or a Mid-Life Crisis, you know? Hot flashes, cold sweats, now they’re UP, now they’re down…either way, whatever the cause, and like the proverbial spouse, WE end up paying for it.


Now, now, before you get all defensive and sensitive because you happen to fall into one of the above categories and you’re sharpening up your pencil in preparation for a “letter to the writer” via this newspaper I’ll save you a little time…just wire me an email and send your complaints directly to dontbesotouchy@idontcare.com. Thank you.

Okay, where was I…oh, yeah… first, we had the big blizzard on Remembrance Day Weekend, with the big dump of snow, and then the temperatures soared way up to the low single digits, on the plus side, mind you, which melted a lot of the snow so then we were back dealing with mud again and then another dump of snow and minus whatever Celsius which froze the mud making for an interesting ground texture to walk, drive and fall on and then it was raining and then it was foggy and then it was snowing and raining AND foggy…geez… make up your bloody mind already! Is it Winter or not?! Yes, I know it’s not OFFICIALLY Winter until December 21st but we’re in Saskatchewan, remember, there are really only two seasons…Winter and kinda not Winter and this swingy weather stuff is getting a little more than frustrating. And don’t even get me started on all of the different clothing and footwear options we have to keep at the ready. (Note to self: buy more shares in L.L. Bean.)

And the schizophrenia continues: -21C one day +2C the next. I can sit here and listen to my house expanding and contracting. What to wear, what to wear? Is it too much to ask for a little consistency? No? I guess not.

And all of this mixed up weather is hitting us just when I was finally reconciling myself to the fact that winter will come again, too, and there’s not much one can do, if moving away from it isn’t a viable option, which it isn’t for me, so let’s just get on with it, I say. Grab some snowshoes, go to a KW Oil Kings game, play some street hockey, go tobogganing, pick up that old curling broom…you know, if you can’t lick it join it.

Just so I could start making some winter activity plans I thought I’d look up the Long-Range Forecast in Ye Olde Farmer’s Almanac and you’d never guess what it said…and I quote...”Winter temperatures will be slightly milder than normal, on average, with the coldest periods in mid-December, late December through early January, mid-to-late January, and mid-February.” Huh? Ya think?! Someone had to examine a pig spleen for this? This sounds like a description for every Winter since the last Ice Age. I could have predicted this stuff myself, pig spleen or no pig spleen…“It’ll be cold…mostly…in the Winter months…when it usually is…but it could be milder…sometimes…then again…it might not be…”

I guess Mother Nature isn’t the only moody one around here, or have you noticed? I think this weather could possibly be affecting my moods, too. It sure couldn’t be because I have another birthday looming in the immediate future or because of the hot flashes, the night sweats, the fatigue, the muscle and joint aches, the listlessness, the… Nah, it’s the weather!

“Next mood swing?...6 minutes!”- Anonymous.

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